Skyfall

Skyfall. Tak ada kena mengena dengan filem James Bond.

Assalamualaikum. Tergerak hati  untuk menulis lagi. Salah satu cara aku melepaskan kesedihan adalah dengan menulis, jadi aku kira blog ini sebagai pelepas rasa. Huhu.

So many things happen to me. Usrah, commitments, friends, and boyfriend.

The pain being in a relationship is undescrible. Nobody wants to fight all the time. That is not the purpose of relationship. But when something is going wrong, what can you do?

I’ve made a lot of mistakes. To him, and to Allah. Repent, do it again. I do not know when this self-torturing will end. And that’s why Allah gives me the pain, to clean the sins. Husnuzon.

“Hati ini kadangkala perlu diketuk dgn ujian, agar ia terdidik untuk tidak sentiasa selesa pd ‘kesukaan’, tapi juga selesa dgn ‘kesakitan’”

I’ve been insecured all this time, because I don’t see the reasons for me to be proud of having him and feel secured. Because all I can see is my weaknesses. Astaghfirullah, I’m not the best.

But then I found this, “Bila Allah ingin seseorang itu menjadi baik, nescaya Allah menampakkan baginya akan kekurangan dirinya sendiri.”

You know the condition when you don’t know what to do anymore, when you don’t have any piece of hope? And all you can do is cry, and pray that it will not end?

I feel so hopeless, but there’s voices telling me to get up and do something (okay, I’m not a schizophrenia). All I need now is strength and confidence.

I’ve received tremendous love and support from almost anyone, especially mom. Allah will never let you be alone.

“jadi jangan hilang confidence, percaya dengan diri, baiki apa yang kita kenal pasti, tampal yang leaking, perbaiki hubungan dengan Ilahi”

“Change yourself, and try it first. That’s the most important thing to do”

“Chill, and act cool”

“Do your best first so that you won’t regret it later”

“Think and make the best decision”

“Love is about holding on, even when you feel like letting go”

“Hati Allah yang punya. Perasaan datang tiba-tiba. Mohon Tuhan jaga . Agar tidak mudah disakiti & mudah memaafkan yg menyakiti.”

We’re not changing to different people, we’re just revealing our true colours. But despite all the differences, are we ready to fight for it?

Let the skyfall, when it crumbles, we will stand tall, face it all together at skyfall.

“Kerana hati ini senang untuk dibolak-balikkan olehNya, maka tetapkanlah pendirian, kukuhkanlah hati, panjatkanlah doa dan terima seredhanya”.

As long as we’re trying, I’m staying. I miss you honey, I miss us. InsyaAllah we can do this.